Biggest Loser – Forgiveness
Posted by markdoebler | Posted in Life | Posted on 10-02-2010
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Sunday I spoke on the danger of unforgiveness. When we hold on to hurts and pains, and we blame them on someone else and continue to hold them responsible, it only ends up hurting us in the long run. We are the ones who suffer and pay the price… not the “offending” party.
It doesn’t even have to be a GIANT offense. It can be small hurts that we just never release. You would think that the small things would be far easier to forgive and to simply move on… but it’s just not true. If it’s personal, it’s personal. It doesn’t matter how large the offense was. In fact, over time, even small offenses become large in the mind of those who hold on to them.
I confessed that I had an old friend who had wounded me several years ago. We live in different states, but we once were best friends. It was the kind of friendship that you think nothing will ever come between the bond you have. Several years ago, we made the trip to the state he resides in. Getting together and reconnecting was something I was truly looking forward to. To this day, I don’t know what happened to create the break between us… he simply would not make the time to meet with me… even after being told directly how this was causing me to feel. It was truly devestating… this friend who I had gone through several life ordeals with was simply blowing me off.
People make choices, and he had made his. It was time for me to move on. But the truth is I never really did. It’s not something I dwell on every week, or every month… but it has never entirely left me. I felt abandoned and betrayed. There may have been some completely legitimate issues going on in his life, but he never shared those with me if there were. I only know that this dear friend simply dismissed me… and it hurt deeply.
I came across his Facebook profile the night before my message on forgiveness. Coincidence? What do you think? I found myself struggling with the question of whether I should send him a friend request or not. After all these years, that should be a no-brainer… but it wasn’t. That was my key to knowing that I hadn’t forgiven him in my heart. I hadn’t released him for the responsibility of hurting me. I knew what I had to do… but it still took me several days to do it. I have finally sent the friend request and have extended forgiveness in my heart. I no longer hold him responsible for the wound I felt. And I feel released!
I don’t know what the outcome will be. I haven’t heard a response yet. But whatever it is, I know I have done what I have needed to do for a long time. Forgiveness is not easy, but it never is. It wasn’t when Jesus offered forgiveness to us, and it won’t be when we offer forgiveness to others. But it is right… and it is worth it… and it is freeing!
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