Yesterday we presented a clear and compelling case for the authority of a man in relation to his wife. Maybe one of the reasons that this has become a frightening concept for most women (and plenty of men) is because of how authority gets abused. But the sort of authority that God is mandating here looks much different than the type most of us are accustomed to. Once again, we’ll let Stu Weber lead us in this discussion…….
There is no room in biblical headship for self-inflated big shots. Still, God’s Word makes it undeniably clear that “the man” is the head of his home. The man is held responsible for the leadership of his marriage and home! The two words that describe his role most basically are “husband” and “head.” These two words are good words—benevolent words—intended to provide our homes with leadership, authority, order, and direction. Rightly understood, they are Camelot-inducing words. If you’ll allow me, I’ll borrow a couple of definitions from my earlier book, Tender Warrior, to nail these terms down.
HUSBAND. The noun form of the word means “manager.” A husband is a steward. He is a caretaker and caregiver. He is the man held responsible. In its verb form the word means “to direct, to manage.” Those are strong terms that imply effective and responsible leadership.
HEAD. “Head” means director. It means chief. As in headmaster. Principal. Foremost. “Head” equals leadership and authority, as in the head of the class, head of the military, head of the company, head of the church, head of the home, or head man. Head means head.
You see, words mean something. But many Christians today are so shaped by their culture that they actually undertake a few “midnight raids” of their own on the text of Scripture. Under the guise of “cultural context” they seek to disarm the reality of words like “head.” Contemporary “biblical feminists” attempt to disarm the meaning of key passages either to promote their own agenda or to make it more palatable to our politically correct culture. But the text will not be denied.
The best example of headship can be found in Jesus Christ. What did he do? He gave himself for us…for all of us.
Think about it. Christ did not come to earth for Himself, but for you. Your marriage is not given to you for you; it is given to you for her. Your marriage is not a gift for your satisfaction; it is a labor for her development. She is not a gratuity to you; you are a sacrifice for her. You are not drawn to her for her beauty; you are to render her beautiful through your own pain.
The Christian husband works at great length to actually produce a beauty in his wife. He prays, “Lord, help me to make my wife the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” And he puts the feet of mature, humble sacrifice to his prayers.
Questions to ponder? This may be the most difficult proposition to deal with so far. Can we actually live out a marriage that looks like this? What does it take to see our marriage/wife in this light? What would change?
Bottom line, the king provides a climate in his realm where all can exercise their gifts and flourish. The king gives definition to life. Such kingly moments of clarification cannot be programmed or scheduled. They don’t rise from a formal agenda. They are the quality times that rise spontaneously out of deliberate quantities of time spent in relationship.
Admiral Richard Byrd, one of American history’s foremost explorers, said it for all of us when he reached the end of his illustrious life. On his deathbed, he put it all in perspective for every man who would be king:
In the end, only two things matter to a man, regardless of who he is, and they’re the affection and understanding of his family. Anything and everything else he creates are insubstantial. They are merely ships given over to the mercy of the winds and the tides of prejudice. But the family is an everlasting anchorage, a quiet harbor where a man’s ships can be left to (ride) the moorings of pride and loyalty.
So how’s your harbor these days?
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