VS 3-11, LOVE YOU, MEAN IT - I’m not sure where I first heard that phrase, but it’s always been something you say with a bit of a chuckle.  But for Paul, that’s exactly what he was expressing here… but in a very deep and real way.  He describes specific ways that he is thankful for them and has been praying for them.  It would serve us all well to be specific with each other when we encourage each other.  Paul goes on here to describe how our spiritual growth will lead us to feel a growing concern for people in need.  As we share the message of hope with others, we should also make prayer for their progress a part of our service to them.  Our commitment to pray for for other people struggling with sin will have a significant impact on their spiritual growth as well as our own.

VS 12-18, THE POWER OF PURPOSE - Paul could have been excused here if he wanted to take a little break from ministry while sitting in prison.  It’s not exactly the Presidential Suite of the Ritz.  But he used even this situation to lead and minister.  He never drifted from his mission.  That’s the power of purpose.  Each one of us has purpose.  Most of us search for it in the secular arena.  But God’s purposes for us are much higher than that.  Our purpose may very well play itself out in a secular environment, but the purpose will be something that serves God’s kingdom.  When we lay hold to that, here’s what we’ll find:

1. A purpose will motivate you.
2. A purpose will keep your priorities straight.
3. A purpose will develop your potential.
4. A purpose will give you power to live in the present.
5. A purpose will help you evaluate your progress.

A personal sense of purpose works in two ways —- First we work on it —- Then it works on us. Once Paul had determined his life mission, that purpose daily improved his attitude.  In prisons, in shipwrecks, beatings, trials and debates, Paul kept on smiling because of his strong sense of purpose.  On the other hand, when we surrender to our circumstances rather than our purpose, we have good days and bad days.  We are at the mercy of what happnes to us.  When we surrender to our purpose, we have good days wherever we go because the purpose never dies.

VS 12-18, MOTIVES VERSES FALSE GOSPELS - In these verses, Paul explains that he knows that there are people who have taken up preaching the gospel out of selfish or impure motives, but he is not critical.  In fact, he says he rejoices.  This stands in stark contrast to his harsh condemnations in Galatians.  What gives?  I believe the bottom line with Paul was this.. if someone preaches the true gospel, even if their motives are out of whack, Paul will let it stand because God will use his Word to win the lost.  The power is in the message, not the messenger.  However, when teachers begin to alter the gospel to something other than the gospel of salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, then Paul will spare no effort to expose their error.  That’s a tough line to discern at times, but I will let Paul’s example be my guide.

VS 20-24, DO I STAY OR DO I GO - There used to be a song by that title.  Paul wrestled with the same question about his physical life.  But if we belong to God, we cannot lose.  Whether we live or die, we know wil will win in the end.  But while we live, we need to persevere in our faith so that we can make spiritual gains.  Paul’s primary motivation for persevering was his deep concern for others who still needed to hear the Good news of God’s loving power.  There is always a reason to live….. God still wants to use us to save the lives of others.

VS 27, DUAL CITIZENSHIP - I’ve often thought it must be really interesting to enjoy citizenship in two countries.  As a dual citizen you get the benefits of both countries.  Paul here advises us that we actually do have dual citizenship - here and in heaven. But only our heavenly citizenship will last forever.  He calls us to make that our higher calling, our higher priority.  To live as citizens of heaven, to see our role there as the motivater for our actions.  But as dual citizens, we will live that out here.  And in that way, we can win others to the kingdom of heaven and have them join us there.

YOUR TURN…..

Thanks Coach: Gratitude

As with most youth sports, baseball is carried on the shoulders of thousands of volunteers. Each week my sons have opportunities to express gratitude to the many men and women who make their experience possible. This makes them more mindful of others who are serving them in other venues as well.

Principle for Manhood: Thank every coach after every practice. Thank every coach and umpire (if possible, they often leave before the team has cleared the dugout) after every game. Thank the concession stand workers for their time. Thank the grounds crew (as available) for their work on the field. You will find yourself more grateful as you join your sons in their expressions of gratitude.

Shake it Off! Leadership and Encouragement

A common expression from one player to another is to “shake it off” after a botched play or minor injury. Baseball requires a lot of mental toughness and good leadership on the field means you are encouraging teammates to “shake it off” to be ready for the next play. Typically, focusing on a failure in baseball means that you will not be focused on the next play which means another failure.

Principle for Manhood: Never correct another player while on the field. Good leaders on the field offer encouragement, and remember to keep a “short memory” and to “shake it off.” Strategies for improvement can be discussed in the dugout.

Father, Where Art Thou? The Decline of Baseball

It is sad to me that one of the greatest sports is experiencing something of a decline at the youth recreation level. Some have argued that the proliferation of highly competitive travel teams have caused this demise. I think the socio-cultural phenomenon of absent fathers, however, has created the giant gap between recreation and competitive players and thereby created the need for more competitive venues. Baseball requires at least two people. You cannot play catch with yourself. You can’t pitch to yourself, and you can’t hit grounders to yourself. Normally this is where dad comes in. But where is he? Is he working too much, abandoning his family altogether, or is he just emotionally absent?

Over the next decade, fewer and fewer boys will enjoy the incredible father-son moments of playing catch, hitting grounders, spending hours discussing the nuances and character-building aspects of the game.

Principle for Manhood: Encourage the church to stand in the gap and embrace the fatherless young men around you. Mentor them, teach them the Gospel, and maybe toss the ball a time or two with them.

This one is particularly striking because it addresses elements (failure, losing) that help build real character in our boys, helping them to become solid men. But these are elements that are sadly brushed aside in the pursuit of “self-worth” and building children’s “self-esteem”. Pardon me for being blunt, but maybe we’ve got just a little too much self-esteem going on these days. It makes me ill to think that we cannot allow our children to “lose” because it would damage them. So we don’t even count runs in a lot of places (by the way, most kids count anyway). We can’t give failing grades because it would hurt their feelings. Maybe I’m old school, but a little failure is a good thing in my book. Our junior sports teams and elementary schools may be protecting their feelings by preventing failure, but they will have no such luxury in the real adult world we are preparing them for. Failure and losing is real. Learning to deal with it appropriately is extremely important. Rather than protecting our boys self-esteem, we need to be training them to be men.

Today’s post will touch on FAILURE, HUMILITY, RESILIENCE, & WINNING & LOSING. Great stuff!

Play Ball: Umpires and Understanding Authority

Once a player steps out onto the field, the umpires control the game. As mentioned above, there are an enormous number of subjective calls: balls, strikes, infield-fly rule, fair, foul, out, safe, and the list goes on. There is no instant replay (yet!), and baseball is notorious for its “colorful” interactions between coaches, fans, players, and umpires. Entire games can hinge on any of these decisions.

But what I want my sons to understand is that submitting to the judgment of the umpires is part of the game. Imperfect authorities are going to make mistakes, they are going to sometimes show favoritism and they are sometimes going to avenge a rude fan or disruptive coach.

Too bad.

We trust in a sovereign God who is meticulous in overseeing all things and in our life will use unfair employers, rude people, poor judgment, and the like, to shape us into the image of Christ.

Principle for Manhood: Players do not argue with the umpire. They do not express disgust or disappointment with the umpire. That is the coach’s prerogative. You do not blame the outcome of the game on the umpire and you do not use him as an excuse because your team did not play well.

The remaining points of this post are…..

Take One for the Team: Self-Sacrifice and Toughness

Slide! Obedience to Authority

You’re Out! Unfairness

There are some really great lessons for all of us in this article. Do yourself a favor a drop by their blog to read the rest. Click here….

The blogging world has been a great adventure for me allowing me to “meet” many wonderful people and to read their thoughts. One such person is “Maggie” over at Magnanimity. Maggie runs a terrific blog and offers many helpful thoughts and tips about blogging. Several weeks ago, Maggie bestowed on me a “thoughtful”  honor…a thinking blogger award for my article on Oprah Winfrey and her involvement in New Age thinking. You can read that post by clicking here. Thank you so much, Maggie. It is deeply appreciated. Unfortunately, it came at a time where I couldn’t participate fully in the purpose of the award which is to point you, my readers, toward blog entries that have made me think.  But happily, I can now participate in that goal.

Here are the rules of the award:

“The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blog posts that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.”

So, with all of that out of the way now, I would really like to encourage all of you to take the time to go and read these wonderful, and thought-provoking entries from around the blog world. Things that make you go hmmmm.

Rules of Vulgarity - This is over on Dave Milam’s blog. Dave is a church planter in Charlotte, NC. They had their church equipment stolen and went to great lengths to establish contact with the thief. They even posted billboards across the Charlotte area. Many thought the billboards crossed the line and contained vulgar language unbecoming to a church. This post addresses the idea of vulgarity. Really interesting stuff.

Why Heaven Isn’t Where We End Up - I found this deeply challenging post on Backyardmissionary.com. The blog is written by a church leader in Australia. This post is an excerpt from a book that he has read. I taught a series of messages at The Grove a couple years ago about this subject, but this post contains some additional thoughts that I have not wrestled with before. It’s a long read, but worth it.

Six Reasons Not to Quit - A powerful post on ministry that is moving slower than our “success” meter is happy with

Biggest Mistakes as a Leader #1 & Part #2 - These two posts are over on Perry Noble’s blog. Perry leads a church in SC that has grown to over 8000, but he comes across as totally real. I have come to deeply appreciate his wisdom and insights on life and church. It is truly helpful to read posts like this from leaders of churches that are making a difference.

I’m Not Connected - I “met” Bill Reichart through the blog post that got this whole “Thinking Blogger” award started for me. We’ve had the opportunity to speak on the phone and I really appreciate Bill’s heart, his ministry, and his talent for blogging/writing. As a “Connections” pastor at his church in Atlanta, he has a front-row seat on the problem of people feeling disconnected with church. I’ve referenced this post before and think it is worth noting again.

Expectations - This is one of the most powerful things I have ever read. It is on Darryl Strickland’s blog, but it is attributed to Mark Beeson, the head pastor of Granger Community Church in Granger, IN. Granger is a church that is seeing amazing results for the kingdom. And Mark Beeson has proven to be a leader worth listening too. Do not miss reading this.

Thanks again to Maggie and all the wonderful bloggers out there who challenge me, and sharpen me and never even know it. I am a better man for your efforts.

C. S. Lewis, as always, said it clearly:

It is painful, being a man, to have to assert the privilege, or the burden, which Christianity lays upon my own sex. I am crush­ingly aware of how inadequate most of us are, on our actual and historical individualities, to fill the place prepared for us.

Oh, how right he is. Left to ourselves we are totally inadequate. But “the place prepared for us” is still there, and it must be occupied. As Christian men, we must throw ourselves at the feet of the King of Kings, and beg His wisdom, insight, grace, and blessing. Still, the mantle must be worn. When a man refuses it, everybody is the loser for it.

Whatever our frustration-a culture that bites us, wives who won’t follow us, kids who won’t cooperate with us-we do not have the option of just tossing up our hands and walking away. God-honoring men don’t quit. God-honoring men don’t abdicate, or try to hide in the baggage from God’s anointing, like the pitiful king-designated Saul.

God-honoring men stay at it. And stay. And stay. And stay. Growing and improving. Taking the hits and pushing on down the field. Moving in one direction over the long haul. Many times it’s two steps forward, one back. But it’s still movement; it’s keeping on keeping on.

Too many of us men, however, are just tossing in the towel. Too many of us run the risk of abdicating to our wives. When we as servant‑kings do not assume our responsibilities, probably the most common shift that occurs in the home is that the wife assumes the role of leader. Whether it’s based in her own strong personality as compared to ours, or in our refusal to accept the leadership, she takes over. (Hey, someone has to do it!) As time goes on, this usually kindles resentment on her part because she left alone to make all the tough decisions, and it causes resentment on his part because “she’s bossy” or “taking over.” More often than not she is one very frustrated lady, waiting without much hope for her man to be one after God’s design.

Sometimes we abdicate to our children. Disaster! A growing pattern in homes today is for dads and moms both to abdicate their roles in the family to the kids, allowing the children to become their own “leaders.” Too many families are child-centered and child-led.

Questions to ponder? OK…gotta stop right here. Do you agree with this contention? How does this show itself in real life? If you agree with this thought, what is the root cause of this problem? How does this get addressed properly?

Possibly the most common abdication today is our tendency as men to abdicate to our culture. Television, radio, schools, and youth and adult clubs are probably dictating more direction in many homes in America than the God-designated head of the home. There isn’t anything neces­sarily wrong with any of these influential factors in our homes—unless the man is using them as an excuse to abdicate his responsibilities as family leader and head.

But even if you decide to not abdicate…even if you decide to press forward and shoulder the mantle of headship that was given to you by God…..you will still wrestle with questions and doubt. They will be questions both in your own spirit and questions of those around you. Here are the more prominent ones:

1. “What makes you think you are better than anyone else?”

Of course, the question assumes that men who lead do so because they think they are better qualified than anyone else around them. (Just see to it that you don’t give anyone a justifiable excuse to think you really are stuck on yourself!) In reality, the only reason in the world men must act as the heads of homes is because that is what God decided. It has noth­ing to do with being “better,” but rather with being chosen by the One who has the right to choose. Begin to believe that; let the truth of it humble you and keep you on your knees—the most kingly posture of all.

2. “Who do you think you are, anyway?”

Ouch! That stings, doesn’t it? Again, it assumes you are leading because you have somehow “earned” a right to lead. Not so. You don’t “deserve” anything-except the wrath of a righteous God, along with the rest of sinful humanity. You were just appointed. Frankly, on your own individ­ual merits, you may not be the best in your home. But you’re the only one God assigned to the job. So you need to get used to it. It’s nothing less than your “calling” from God.

3. “What gives you the right to sit up there in the head seat?”

Nothing. Not one darn thing. But God is not a “thing,” He’s a person. And what He has given you as the head of your home is not so much a “right” as a full-orbed responsibility. The question is not “what” but “who.” And that answer is clear. God determined the chain of command. I may not like it any more than my wife or kids, but that doesn’t change the reality. God seldom determines His design on advice from me or anyone else.

4. “Do you really think you can do this king thing better than someone else?”

Not particularly. In fact, I’m pretty sure there are numbers of others who could do just as well or better at it. But the issue, again, is not ability. It is accountability. I am accountable to the One who is the King of kings. And He told me to do it. Period. I certainly hope to do the best job possible, and I will greatly benefit from the gifts and skills of others around me. But I can’t transfer the accountability! I’m going to answer to God for this. The toughest objections, however, usually don’t come from others. They come from within. How many times have you complained…

5. “But I’m not a natural born leader!”

So, who is? We all sound a lot like the reluctant Moses, don’t we? Yes, some have the opportunity and encouragement to move in that direction sooner and faster than some others, but the most effective leadership is a learned skill, not a “natural” ability. And never forget—the Bible insists God never calls us to what He does not enable us to do. And then there’s that voice in the back of each of our minds, filling us with fear, saying…

6. “Okay. Say I give it my best shot and no one follows?”

Welcome to the club. We’ve all entertained thoughts like that. “This job is way over my head, and I’m going to look pretty foolish when no one accepts my leadership. This is all ready to backfire.” Yes, fear is real. It is also an incredible debilitation. We’ve simply got to push through it by faith, and pursue God’s stated intentions.

Some wag has said, “If you think you are leading and turn around to find no one there, then you’re merely taking a walk.” Sometimes it feels that way. Many men have tried their hand at leading at some point and found no one in the family following. So, the next time they strike out in the lead position, it is awfully easy to do so with some serious hesita­tion in their step. It doesn’t take long before that fear can become para­lyzing. Fear is potent stuff. But if we don’t keep working at it, we will never develop our ability to lead effectively.

Guess what? It’s back to the bottom line again: I lead because God appointed me to do so and will hold me accountable for it. Who follows is another issue. But that which stares me in the face is the responsibility to lead. God didn’t call me to lead only when someone else decides to fol­low. I am to lead, and in the process, to make it as easy as possible for others to follow my lead. But no matter what, come Hades or high water, I am to LEAD.

Questions to ponder? Have you tried to lead before and felt it was pointless and wanted to give up? How do you separate the question of who’s following from the question of whether or not you should be leading?

There is no room in biblical headship for self-inflated big shots. Still, God’s Word makes it undeniably clear that “the man” is the head of his home. The man is held responsible for the leadership of his marriage and home! The two words that describe his role most basically are “husband” and “head.” These two words are good words—benevolent words—intended to provide our homes with leadership, authority, order, and direction. Rightly understood, they are Camelot-inducing words. If you’ll allow me, I’ll borrow a couple of definitions from my earlier book, Tender Warrior, to nail these terms down.

HUSBAND. The noun form of the word means “manager.” A hus­band is a steward. He is a caretaker and caregiver. He is the man held responsible. In its verb form the word means “to direct, to manage.” Those are strong terms that imply effective and responsible leadership.

HEAD. “Head” means director. It means chief. As in headmaster. Principal. Foremost. “Head” equals leadership and authority, as in the head of the class, head of the military, head of the company, head of the church, head of the home, or head man. Head means head.

You see, words mean something. But many Christians today are so shaped by their culture that they actually undertake a few “midnight raids” of their own on the text of Scripture. Under the guise of “cultural context” they seek to disarm the reality of words like “head.” Contemporary “biblical feminists” attempt to disarm the meaning of key passages either to promote their own agenda or to make it more palatable to our politically correct culture. But the text will not be denied.

The best example of headship can be found in Jesus Christ. What did he do? He gave himself for us…for all of us.

Think about it. Christ did not come to earth for Himself, but for you. Your marriage is not given to you for you; it is given to you for her. Your marriage is not a gift for your satisfaction; it is a labor for her devel­opment. She is not a gratuity to you; you are a sacrifice for her. You are not drawn to her for her beauty; you are to render her beautiful through your own pain.

The Christian husband works at great length to actually produce a beauty in his wife. He prays, “Lord, help me to make my wife the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” And he puts the feet of mature, humble sacrifice to his prayers.

Questions to ponder? This may be the most difficult proposition to deal with so far. Can we actually live out a marriage that looks like this? What does it take to see our marriage/wife in this light? What would change?

Bottom line, the king provides a climate in his realm where all can exercise their gifts and flourish. The king gives definition to life. Such kingly moments of clarification cannot be programmed or scheduled. They don’t rise from a formal agenda. They are the quality times that rise spontaneously out of deliberate quantities of time spent in relationship.

Admiral Richard Byrd, one of American history’s foremost explorers, said it for all of us when he reached the end of his illustrious life. On his deathbed, he put it all in perspective for every man who would be king:

In the end, only two things matter to a man, regardless of who he is, and they’re the affection and understanding of his family. Anything and everything else he creates are insubstantial. They are merely ships given over to the mercy of the winds and the tides of prejudice. But the family is an everlasting anchorage, a quiet harbor where a man’s ships can be left to (ride) the moor­ings of pride and loyalty.

So how’s your harbor these days?

“Mutual submission” is not only an oxymoron, it is an impossibility. It exists neither in theory, nor in practice, nor in Scripture.

It is a term used by “biblical feminists” to suggest that Ephesians 5:21(”Be subject to one another”) is intended to interpret 5:22(”Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord”). In actuality, it is quite the opposite of that suggestion. Ephesians 5:22-6:9 is an illustrative amplification of 5:21. The apostle is simply stating that there is to be clear order and authority and submission in the community of believers. He then illus­trates the principle in actual practice. “For example,” wives be subject to husbands, children to parents, slaves to masters, and so on.

The root of the verb “be subject” carries the idea of serving. If we are under the control of the Holy Spirit (5:18), one of the things that will begin to change in our lives is the way we relate to those around us, “being subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (5:21). Paul then gives us three relational illustrations (5:22-6:9)—husband and wife, parents and children, masters and slaves—that should reflect this change in relationships. The bottom line: We must serve one another’s needs in such a way as to enable us to become all God designed us to be.

He begins, not by telling the husband to be the head over his wife (he already is), but by calling her to recognize that God designed him for it, and that she needs to serve his mandate to function as the head of his marriage and family. Paul tells the husband to recognize his wife’s sovereign appointment to be the most important person in all his life, and to serve that need by loving and cherishing her.

But to argue, as some Christian feminists do, that “being subject to one another” means that husbands are to be subject to wives is as non-sensical as parents being subject to children or masters being subject to slaves. It is not only conceptually wrong, it is exegetically wrong. The words “be subject to” and “one another” have specific usage patterns and context which absolutely prohibit this possibility.

The universe is subject to Christ (Ephesians 1:22), Christ is subject God the Father (1 Corinthians 15:28), the Church is subject to Christ (Ephesians 5:24), Christians are subject to God (James 4:7), and wives are subject to husbands(Colossians 3:18).

None of these relationships can be reversed. Submission is always submission. It is always singular in direction when it refers to authority. It is never “mutual.” The words of Scripture simply cannot be turned sideways and twisted to force the reverse. Nowhere are husbands told to subject to wives. Everywhere husbands are told to take the lead.

Questions to ponder? How does this hit you? Does this challenge your thinking or reinforce your current point of view? How do you express this teaching in your home? How do you live this out?

Authority exists at every level of existence. It lives at every level of life. That’s because authority is part of the very nature of God. And authority exists even within the Godhead. The Triune One Himself experiences clear lines of authority within the Trinity. So let’s face it. Authority is an essential. It is part and parcel of life itself.

• There is authority in the Godhead.
• There is authority in the spirit world of angels and demons.
• There is authority among nations. There is authority in churches.
• There is authority in homes and families.
• And there is authority in marriage.

We are forced to conclude, “Authority is life. We must get used to it.”

And it isn’t simply “getting under authority” on the “outside.” It’s an internal thing, an attitudinal reality that we’re after here. It is becoming comfortable with the principle of authority, even if the person of authority isn’t all we might wish them to be. And it is the role of the one in authority to unselfishly help those under authority learn to live at peace with it. Those who comply with authority without understanding the principles tend to become bitter and angry even when they are “coming under” authority. And that anger makes it hard for everyone.

So let’s get a grip on authority where we live. Starting at home. Few would argue with the statement that parents have authority over chil­dren. Although in our wild, crazy, “question authority” world, even something so obvious as parental authority is up for grabs. It should not surprise us then that authority in the marriage and family has become a matter of debate in our culture. We have become anti-authority across the board. And that, my friend, is at the very heart of ungodliness. But no matter what winds are blowing in our contemporary culture, a man must make some decisions. Who is he going to listen to? Who is going to follow? Once a man decides he will follow God and His Word, then all issues, most particularly authority issues, become noticeably more clear. Who will you follow? God, or the whims and fads of a changing society?

So how is your kingdom? How is the king in you doing? How’s it at your house, in your little realm? What kind of leader are you? Is there a sweet aroma of contentment? Or is your home characterized by the sour taste of bitterness? Are the “citizens” secure? Is there peace? Is there laughter in the hallways? Is everyone glad to know the king is in his castle? Or would they, frankly, prefer a revolt? Is your home a little taste of heaven, or is it hell on earth?

The answer to this question will indicate the type of leadership (or lack thereof) you have exercised in your home. This comes down to a question of authority and authority seems to be a real sticking point in today’s culture. This is how Stu Weber addresses this question of authority:

Authority is the bottom line of the universe. It is the inevitable first question. Who’s in charge here?! It is the first answer. Rebellion against it started the first war—on a cosmic scale—just as it has started every war since, whether global or local, physical or spiritual, marital or personal. Authority is the one element which, given our self-oriented depravity, chaffs us all. But we will never escape it. And it is particularly incumbent upon Christians to learn to live with it.

Someone is always in charge. It goes without saying. It’s axiomatic. We can try to deny it all we want to, but—someone is always in charge. It’s the way God made this world, because it reflects the reality of His world. And when Satan tried to snatch a little authority for himself, he ended up on the ash heap of the universe.

Someone is always in charge. I don’t remember when I first realized that. But I’m sure it was early in life. Every infant soon learns that someone is charge. It was reinforced at home. It was reinforced again at school. There was no doubt that first day of kindergarten who was in charge. Our teacher, Mrs. Taylor! It was the same at recess; during the lunch hour; on the school bus; and, yes, even in the tree fort in the back yard. Someone is always in charge. It is true on the football team…in the marching band…in the fraternity ­house…and in the corporate board room. It is true everywhere.

Questions to ponder? Do you ever find yourself resenting authority? How does it affect you when you do? Do you resent anyone who doesn’t respect your authority? Do you agree that authority is necessary? If so, why?

Dennis Foley, a highly decorated career soldier tells an interesting story about authority that is both humorous and informative:

He (the NCO) didn’t say a word. We lacked a little coordination and to him we must have looked like the Keystone Kops trying to build a military formation. He made a small gesture of impa­tience.

“Who’s in charge here?” he asked forcefully, tapping his swagger stick against his trouser leg. No one answered.

“I’ll ask again. Who-is-in-charge?” No one answered.

Still standing at a perfect position of attention, he looked each of us in the eye for a split second and began our first class at the NCO Academy. “Everywhere and anywhere you are in the army—someone is always in charge.”

We weren’t sure if that required a response. So we stayed quiet and listened.

“If it isn’t apparent just who is in charge—take charge. Organize and lead. I say again…organize and lead.”

We let that sink in.

Yes, let that sink in, guys. Someone is always in charge. You’ve never been anywhere someone wasn’t in charge. Or if by some chance you were, you didn’t like it very much. It was disorderly and chaotic. This is not only true in the army, it’s true everywhere you will ever go. It’s true in life. It’s true in your home. And the Bible is even more emphatic than that old NCO. When it comes to your home, you are in charge.

So take charge. Organize and lead. A very basic part of being male is taking initiative. Considerately? Yes. Thoughtfully? Yes. Lovingly? Yes. Putting the other person’s interests above your own? Always. But doing it. Leading and organizing—taking responsibility and initiative.

Questions to ponder? Have you ever thought about “just taking charge? Are you doing that in your home, or are you afraid to? If you have asserted yourself in the leadership role , how is it going and what does it look like?